Perfectly wonderful and glorious, that is.
Then there are the rest of them.
A couple months back I had three ewes here for breeding to one of my East Friesian rams. Carrot was more than willing to do the job; in fact, quite anxious the moment he smelled ‘girl’ getting out of the truck. He was convinced one of the ewe lambs was ready to go right then and there. Ewe lamb did not agree. So Carrot began romancing the ewe…and let me tell you, City Boy couldn’t do it any better…worse?..well, they’ve got about the same style. (Sorry, City Boy, but you bought me a toilet bowl brush!)
The thing is, ewe lamb, or (plink! brain-o-pause attack…what is her name?) wasn’t interested. In fact, she tucked her tail, threw him the most bewildered look and ran as fast as she could away from him. Being a man…or ram…he followed, thinking she was just playing hard to get. You know…that whole no must really mean yes because I think you’ve got a cute hiney thing. Brie! That’s her name. I knew it would come to me eventually.
Ewe’s the only one for me, Brie!
Anyway, Brie wanted nothing to do with Carrot. However, there was Lady, the experienced girl of the crowd, the been there, done that, wanna do it some more girl in the crowd. Lady thought Carrot smelled good, and she began to hunt him down. So while Carrot ran after bewildered, virginal Brie, Lady ran after Carrot. It was like some warped Shakespearean love triangle going on in my sheep pasture. Carrot could not figure out how to convince Brie that she really meant yes, and Lady couldn’t convince Carrot that she may be older, but she was definitely wiser and more experienced and he’d have a great time if he just forgot about her age… (oh, this is just sounding all too familiar…)
Don’t touch me! I’m the Princess…and no means no!
The ewes stayed here and…um…got acquainted with Carrot for about a month. After that they went home. However, it would appear that perhaps one ewe did not get bred, and the services of one of the rams would be needed once again. So this morning I was going to bring Pokey down to visit. That was the plan.
I love it when a plan comes together. This was nothing like that. I got up bright and early, went out to feed everyone. I tossed the chickens their feed, put hay in Quiet Storm’s manger, and placed hay out with the sheep. Then there was Sunny…sweet, beautiful, wild Sunny. I grabbed the grain scoop and brought it into the paddock in an attempt to lure her close, hoping she’d eat out of it this morning. I don’t know how long I spent there trying to get my sweet girl to let go of her fear, but it was evidently too long. I was late, which meant my little window of morning opportunity to deliver Pokey had slipped by. The ewe’s owner had a meeting at 10, so now I had to wait until afternoon before driving down.
City Boy was home, which meant I had to pretend I actually accomplish things during the day. I did a load of laundry (bleck!), actually used that stinking gift of a toilet bowl brush (double bleck! Have you any clue how long I’d been growing that culture for science?) and even considered washing my truck. Oh, but that would just be silly…it’s still winter and will get dirty again in no time. Scratch the truck idea.
I’m nearly out of hay, so had to make a quick run to Brigget’s to pick up a couple bales to take along with Pokey. By now, I’d wasted enough time to consider loading him up. Normally a very friendly sheep, I didn’t think there’d be any trouble taking him away from his harem of ladies. I thought wrong. Pokey suddenly erupted into a wild beast from (I’ll spell it out so I don’t have to say it, okay?) H-e-l-l (I know you appreciated that!) He wouldn’t walk with me, he wouldn’t lead, he wouldn’t follow the grain. And he’s too derned big to lift up and carry! What takes me two minutes with a ewe took twenty with Pokey. The girls know that there’s grain in the back of the truck, so when it’s backed up to the loading area, they race to see who can get there first. Winner gets the most grain. Pokey didn’t know the rules, or maybe he realized there was no competition and he’d get all the grain no matter what. Either way, I was again running late.
You’re kidding, right? I’m not going anywhere today…
My truck was nearly out of gas. Great. Stop at the credit union to grab some cash. Run grab a couple bales of hay to accompany Pokey. Get into a conversation with Brigget and now I’m even later! Plus, I’m hungry, so I stopped at Mickey D’s for a burger…and the fries must have been cooked in old oil, they were barfy!
Get down to M’s house and unload Pokey
. The ewe’s are all huddled around the gate, anxiously awaiting their man. Pokey
gets out and immediately thinks he’s died and gone to ram heaven…then quickly realizes that three women is only good in fantasy land. In reality it’s a nightmare. The girls are all jealous of each other because he’s looking at each them with a wicked gleam in his eye, and instead of his fantasy of them fighting one another to win his affection, they gang up on him and try to kill him. Poor Pokey
, this is not what he signed up for! But it turns out our experienced Lady was actually bred, so she’s moved out of the pasture. Now that the younger girls are a bit more relaxed without Lady to educate them, Pokey
thinks about getting down to business. And which of these two lovely ladies does he find the most attractive? Our little goodie
four shoes, Brie! When I left, Pokey
was chasing her about the field, trying to convince her that no really meant yes…
Look deep into my eyes, dear…
By now it’s getting to be late enough for me to be thinking about going home. I decided to take the long way since it was still light enough for pictures. Drove a road I was unfamiliar with, hoping to find an old barn or some such thing. At the bottom of the hill I spotted a big barn near a berry field. There was a road turning off to the left, so I turned down in order to get a better shot of the barn. That’s when I saw it…the Bow Hill Cemetery!
Guess it wasn’t such a bad day after all…. 🙂