Last week Darling and I drove down to Burns, Oregon, where I picked up my new Mustang Makeover competition horse. It was lovely. The sky was blue. There was no mud. Sure, it was a bit chilly, but it was better than the mud that oozes through the holes in a farm diva’s boots back home.
While there we took a drive with a friend up to the Steens Mountains where we were blessed to come upon a large herd of horses. Wild horses. No fences…just thousands and thousands of acres. It was a desperate horsewife’s dream, to be surrounded by mustangs so close you could nearly touch them. And yes, I do mean we were that close! And yes, I do mean wild! But we were quiet, not disruptive, and while the older stallions watched with suspicion from the top of the ridge, the younger horses stuck to their guns and continued to graze peacefully while we lustfully filled our cameras with images of this oh-so-amazing experience.
Back home, however, the skies are nothing like they were in Burns. They are gray and dripping and dreary and threatening to snow on us. They have created mud that sucks even my beloved muck boots from my feet when I go outside to work the horses.
Yesterday I was working with the new boy, Steve Holt!, and once finished I found I’d gained 20 lbs from the mud that was now caked on my jeans and sweatshirt. I got the brainy idea that I should grab Darling’s little camera and video myself. But when I played it back, I looked stupid. Not the normal embarrassing stupid that I normally look like…I haven’t got an issue with that…I was just totally dorky! I couldn’t figure out how to delete the video, though, and wouldn’t you know that Darling found it? And she’s threatening me with it!
“I’m going to call it, The Stupid Things My Mother Does,” she said with an evil grin as she ran off with my embarrassing moments. Some gratitude from the kid who gave me stretch marks, or who’s most embarrassing video of her I deleted for all eternity. Now I’m wishing I’d kept it so that I had something to blackmail her with!